did hitler use haldol (and other Google hits)

Inspired by Jeff Peters from Change for a Year, I decided to investigate Google searches people have used to locate my blog.  It was quite revealing.

 

First, I saw that many people are drawn here who are looking for practical advice on writing (something I can readily offer).  Such searches include –

  “i/i’m/am lessons”

“what is the sentence about the story using predicates”

“find the right voice in email”

“difference between object, medium and manner in poetics”

“encouraging words for writers”

 

Among my aspiring grammarians are Star Trek fans –

  “diagramming sentence to boldly go where no man has gone before”

 

Some searches call for information only someone with their finger on the pulse of the English language can answer –

“grammar rule change 2013”

[Answer: You can now end a sentence in a preposition when it includes an “e” before an “i” – except after “c”, of course.]

 

Some searches are rather lofty –

“i want to write like leo Tolstoy”

[Advice: Learn Russian, become Christian, sell your property and give it to the poor.]

 

Some search hits cause me to blush with feigned humility, like –

“writing that captures the essence of basketball”

 

Some call on my expertise both as an English tutor and a former pastor –

“religion is illusion.but if im happy in tge illusion why noy”

 

A few either ask questions I can’t answer or provide information I don’t necessarily want –

“was john f kennedy a socialist”“

bob de niro won’t go to the dentist”

 

One asked a question I could answer (but would rather not) –

“lysistrata center object”

 

Another asked a question I must admit keeps me up at nights –

“are goodwills in kentucky half off on the first saturday of the month”

 

Some make me think there should be a “Google hot line” to call when I see them –

“people are spying on me commenting on what i’m doing”

 

At first I couldn’t decide if I should call a psychiatric hotline or a stupidity hot line on that one, then I got this one –

“spying on all ages sleeping”

 

I’m now turning off my webcam when I go to bed.

(image above from  Julie-Ann Amos in Google logos)