I’ve been lingering in the basement of my bipolar mind for some time, waiting for some storms to pass before rising to the surface. I’ve taken some risks. Due to a transition in prescription drug coverage and a financial shortfall, I tried to conserve on a couple of my medications to make them last through the end of the year (when the expensive one goes generic). I’m struggling to be productive in a new work environment. I’ve veered from much creative writing to spend time promoting the indiegogo campaign for my mission. Not surprisingly – with fewer corrective chemicals in my blood, added external stressors, and less therapeutic releases, I’ve experienced a low-grade depression. To cope, I go into the basement.
Some people look negatively on those who escape to the basement. They picture n’er-do-well not-so-young adults who still live in their parent’s basement, smoke weed, sleep away the day and watch television through the night. The basement becomes more a tomb than a womb.
For me, the basement of my bipolar mind is where I go when the warning sirens are sounding. I think. I pray. I read and write, though not as much. I stay connected to the world around me through social media. When the clouds lift and the “all clear” sounds, I take the steps upward one at a time.
As I write this, I’m noticing the sky is much clearer.
God has provided the resources for my medication for the remainder of the year and I am back on my prescribed dosages. My body chemistry is approaching equilibrium.
Thanks to the generous support of people around the world, we have exceeded our mission goal to publish Delight in Disorder. Now, every dollar donated in the time remaining for the campaign will be used to promote the book on-line and provide seed money for a book tour.
My responsibilities at work have shifted so I can better use my writing skills and my boss has shown a great deal of grace in accommodating my schedule to optimize my mental health.
I received an e-mail tonight which may be an indication that God is opening doors for me to discuss mental illness within faith communities throughout the state.
Yes, I believe the basement door has opened a crack and some light is shining in. It’s time for me to climb the steps.