Bruce: “Here’s a nice bench. Let’s sit here.”
Carl: “What a gorgeous November day this is.”
Bruce: “It sure is. So peaceful. So calm.”
Carl: “What’s for lunch today?”
Bruce: “I have pastrami on rye.”
Carl: “Ah! With hot mustard?”
Carl: “Mayo? Who puts mayo on pastrami and rye?”
Bruce: “My wife does. She puts mayo on everything. It’s sort of a thing with her.”
Carl: “Why don’t you say something to her? Or make your own sandwiches?”
Bruce: “I don’t want to take that away from her. She thinks she’s being helpful. God love her.”
Carl: “She’s a sweet lady. But you shouldn’t treat her so delicately. Let her grow up.”
Bruce: “Since when did you become a relationship expert?”
Carl: “My third wife was a marriage therapist. She taught me a lot.”
Bruce: “Hey, Dr. Phil, how about helping me move that log over for a stool?”
Setting down their lunches, they roll a large log over beside the bench.
Carl: “So Alexandra, my third wife, the therapist, used to say, ‘A woman is a vowel. A man is a consonant. A woman can stand alone, but together with a man can express more meaning.”
Bruce: “Wow. That’s profound. Whatever happened to Alexandra?”
Carl: “She ran off with a mime.”
Bruce: “Oh, sorry for that.”
Carl: “Yeah, it was tough for awhile. Until I met Samantha. Sam is the long ‘e’ to go with my ‘m’. She fits me perfectly.”
Bruce: “Boy, you could write greeting cards. You know that?”
Carl: “Thanks. So how’s the pastrami?”
Bruce: “I’ve had better.”
Carl: “Even with mayo?”
Bruce: “No. The mayo pretty much ruins it. You want the rest?”
Carl: “No thank you. I’ll stick with my ham and swiss.”
Bruce: ”Unlike your wives.”
Carl: (laughs) Hey, I resemble that remark. No, I don’t see how you do it. How long have you and Joanna been married?
Bruce: 23 years this October.
Carl: Boy. 23 years. What’s your secret?
Bruce: Avoidance, mostly. Things are better left unsaid.
Carl: Like the mayo?
Bruce: (laughs) Exactly.
An alarm sounds.
Carl: Well, time to head back to the spaceship.
Bruce: Yeah, we don’t want them to send out a search party.
Carl: No. Hey, whatever happened to that Lewis fellow that was always late coming in for lunch.
Bruce: They vaporized him.
Bruce: Hey, that reminds me of your ex-wife with the mime – a long “o” with a silent “h.”
Carl: Ah. That, too.
(This story is part of the Blog Hop found at Writings and Ruminations. Photo courtesy Leanne Sype)