Kay Redfield Jamison’s Beautiful, Brilliant Unquiet Mind

          When I first received my Bipolar diagnosis, the picture painted for me of my future was rather bleak.  The staff at the psychiatric hospital explained that I would likely not be able to continue in ministry.  I would probably go on disability, possibly work a part-time minimum wage job.  I would have repeated hospitalizations and the chances of remaining in my marriage were slim to none.
          My psychiatrist, however, wanted to offer a ray of hope.  He recommended I read a new memoir that had just been published by perhaps the most world-renowned expert on Bipolar disorder – Kay Redfield Jamison.  In Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness, Jamison beautifully describes her own life-long struggle and brilliantly depicts the love-hate relationship many folks with Bipolar have with their illness.  She defines what she prefers to call “Manic-depression” –
Kay Redfield Jamison, Author, Professor, Innovator, Genius
…a disease that both kills and gives life.  Fire, by its nature, both creates and destroys.  “The force that through the green fuse drives the flower,” wrote Dylan Thomas, “Drives my green age, that blasts the root of trees/ Is my destroyer.”  Mania is a strange and driving force, a destroyer, a fire in the blood.
          In other works, Jamison has extensively explores the relationship between Bipolar and creativity, citing examples in the lives of many artists past and present who displayed significant symptoms yet produced amazing expressions of life and the world around them.
           Recently, I re-read An Unquiet Mind (for the fourth time, I think).  One passage I was particularly drawn to, given my current separation from my wife was this –
“No amount of love can cure madness or unblacken one’s dark moods.  Love can help, it can make the pain more bearable, but always one is beholden to medication that may or may not always work and may or may not be bearable.  Madness, on the other hand, most certainly can, and often does kill love through its mistrustfulness, unrelenting pessimism, discontents, erratic behavior, and especially through its savage moods.”
            It’s sad, but often true that people with Bipolar seem incapable of sustaining intimate relationships.  Redfield herself has been married more than once, joining the ranks of the more than 90% of folks with Bipolar who get divorced.
             So is it worth it?  If given the opportunity, should we eradicate Bipolar through gene therapy?  For now (at least), Redfield would say, “No.”  As she poetically reflects on her own experience living with the illness –
‘I honestly believe that as a result of it I have felt more things, more deeply had more experiences. more intensely loved more and been more loved; laughed more often for having cried more often; appreciated more the springs for all the winters; worn death “as close as dungarees,” appreciated it — and life, more; seen the finest and most terrible in people, and slowly learned the values of caring, loyalty, and seeing things through…”
             Not many of us (only one, in fact) can be Kay Redfield Jamison.  I see my Bipolar more as a “thorn in my flesh” than something that has enhanced my life.  Still, I am grateful.  Through this thorn I have discovered that God’s grace is sufficient.  This realization has led me to a more abundant life in Christ and given me a greater appreciation for the struggles of others.
             How about you?  Those of you with Bipolar, how do you view your illness?  If you had the choice, would you seek out a cure?  How have you learned to make the most of it?
(image above “Kay Redfield Jamison, Author, Professor, Innovator, Genius”  from Susan Steadman in I AM WOMAN)

8 thoughts on “Kay Redfield Jamison’s Beautiful, Brilliant Unquiet Mind

  1. i don’t admit that i have a disorder. I’ve been on a long path to find the key to happiness – what will cast away my destroyer? It’s true. No amount of impersonal love can break through the madness. My trip to CA taught me to think for myself, and accept who I was, and love who I was. I felt unconditional love, but what more, I accepted it. It opened my heart infinitely.
    I think this is an important book for you to read. I found it after my CA trip – called HAPPINESS NOW.
    i hope your day is full of bliss sir.

  2. I read this a while back… From what I can remember, it made me see the disease from a different point of view when I was depressed, but still little was gained from it by me. I felt how can she do this thing of getting a phd and all that she did.I don’t really remember too many coping techniques shared. It was depressing at points and offered some seeing eyes so as to make me feel less alone, but I felt at a lack because she just said find a good doctor, which is hard to do when you are not seeing clearly.

    What I find the most helpful in bp is just having unfathomable faith that you can make it to where you want to be, that your mind can accomplish anything you set it to.. That and the fact that it can always go into remission seem to be really helpful.. Of course meds and doctor visits help, but I had a problem with all of the therapists and all of that. Most of the time I would just leave depressed and wiped out from the visit.

    I hope you will do well in your health issues and that you will take care of yourself.

    There is also a theory that diet can lead to healing in this area, but I don’t have enough research..

    • You are right that “An Unquiet Mind” offers little in the way of practical advice for someone with Bipolar. I was simply inspired by Jamison’s story.

      I also fully concur with your assessment that “having unfathomable faith” is most helpful in surviving the disorder. The spiritual memoir I’m writing is an attempt to provide a glimpse of how faith has save me (and continues to save me) from death – physical, emotional, and spiritual.

      Thanks again for the visit and your thoughtful comments.

  3. Hi,

    Hope you are well, I would kindly urgently like to get in contact with Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, any assistance with her contact details will be greatly appreciated.

    Many thanks & kind regards,

    Hannah

    Sent from my iPhone

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