Tantalizing Titles for Top-Selling Books

Since I’m in a bit of a funk on my current writing project, I thought it might be a good exercise to imagine titles for future books I could write that might really sell.  Here’s what I came up with –

Farenheit 451-2: Revenge of the Books

Reformed fireman Guy Montag and grown-up Clarisse McClellan team up to write books in a special ink that emits a poisonous gas when you try to burn it.  Only book lovers are left behind to “go forth and multiply” a new, literate society.

Jonathon Livingston Seagull Contracts the Avian Flu

In his pursuit of perfection, Jonathon learns that even adorable fictitious seagulls are only human.  While living in a commune with a gaggle of positive-thinking bird lovers, Jonathon contracts the flu from a flock of chickens.  Within weeks, the community is decimated.  The chickens survive long enough to be made into McNuggets.

Treasure Island Penal Colony for Illegal Aliens

Young Jim Hawkins is now grown up.  He has moved to Arizona and become elected governor.  His first course of action is to sentence all “illegal aliens” to “treasure island” where they can “live out their days in peace and harmony”.   President Obama sends in the National Guard to foil Jim’s plans, but a group of Tea Party activists with superior firearms fend them off.

Winnie the Pooh and Man-Eating Tigger, Too

On a manic binge, Tigger eats Christopher Robbins and then leaves the 100-acre wood to stalk London, looking for more game.

On the Road, For Good

A young beatnik, inspired by the work of Jack Kerouac, takes off on a hitch-hiking adventure.  He takes with him three fifths of Jack Daniels, which he consumes before he gets to the highway.  By the first mile marker, he is flattened by a tractor trailer.

Catcher in the Rye (and Kill Her)

Holden Caulfield has had enough of all the “phonies in the world”.  Single-handedly, he occupies Wall Street, all Ivy League schools, the Pentagon, the EU, and the Mall of America.  Only angst-ridden young girls are safe.

Holden Caulfield- The Catcher In The Rye

What do you think?  Perhaps you could come up with more?

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