God Speaks to Me Through SPAM

I am a firm believer that God is able to speak to us “in many and various ways”.  Why just today, I was reading the messages in my SPAM folder and here is what God said to me (and what I say back to God).

nice job writing this up in a manner that most people can understand

hey i did not understand what are you saying about. somewhat i understood on that basis i don’t agree with this. thanks for posting

I don’t know, God, it sounds like you’re talking out of both sides of your mouth.  I guess you mean I’m on the right track, but sometimes you don’t get where I’m coming from (or agree with me when you do).  I appreciate you gratefully hanging around while I sort this out.

good website and happy messages. i like it. thank you master!

Now, God, you don’t have to get sarcastic.  I get that I can sometimes seem like a know-it-all, but I know you are really in charge.

this text is very well written, you must be a really intelligent person, keep up the good work

And I thank you for the brains You gave me.  I will do my best.

this website is recommended for all ages, as it contains good and informative stuff

I suppose that means I can give my blog a “G” rating, huh?  Get it?  “G”-rating?

This is a message to the admin. Your website is missing out on at least 300 visitors per day. I have found a company which offers to dramatically increase your traffic to your website: ________.  They offer 1,000 free visitors during their free trial period and I managed to get over 30,000 visitors per month using their services, you could also get lot more targeted traffic than you have now. Hope this helps :)  Take care.

Hey, you can’t fool me.   This message isn’t from God, it’s from one of those religious marketers pretending to be God.  Put the Holy One back on.

Unquestionably imagine that that you stated. Your favourite justification appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to take into account of.

I say to you, I definitely get annoyed at the same time as other people consider issues that they plainly do not understand about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also outlined out the whole thing with
no need side effect, other folks can take a signal.

Will probably be again to get more. Thank you.

I know exactly what you mean, Lord.  I will try to keep telling it like it is.

please when you’re posting, do it carefully not to say the wrong thing

OK, God, I’ll do my best.

your articles are highly appreciated from me and some people i know, good work

Thank you, Most Holy One, that means a great deal to me.


(from Elizabeth Gibson  Is this real meat??? )
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11 thoughts on “God Speaks to Me Through SPAM

  1. I feel stupid for not having thought to do this myself. It is my kind of sarcasm. I really enjoyed this. I’m wondering if this kind of spam is the sort of visitors they provide if you sign up for their service; or, better yet, we both sign up and then we automatically visit each other’s blogs along with God-like messages of praise. Where’s my credit card?

  2. Well, I must say that “you managed to hit the nail upon the top with this one!” Being new to blogging, I have been quite surprised at both the volume, and the unintentionally hilarious syntax of the many Spam messages I have gotten; I mean, does anybody actually get results from this type of thing? The mind boggles. Thanks for the laughs. “Will probably be again to get more.”

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